


Of Heart and Storm

by colorworld



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Carol Danvers, Awesome Maria Rambeau, Captain Marvel Spoilers, Carol finding herself, F/F, Spoilers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, air force badasses, back home again, many spoilers, memory recovery, spoilery, surrogate second mom, swears like once, unresolved crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorworld/pseuds/colorworld
Summary: There are a good amount of regrets.Never to be what she used to be, Carol has regrets pounding inside of her head. She hasn’t made the amends with her remaining brother, mother, and possibly her father she knew she’d do one day, somehow. Monica didn’t have her for a chunk of her life, her aunt who was a bigger piece of her life than Carol knew she probably realized. And no, she never quite sorted out things towards her best friend.But now, she can do whatever the fuck she wants, so she’s going to stand up straight and do what she can.





	Of Heart and Storm

**Author's Note:**

> I WATCHED CAPTAIN MARVEL AND ABSOLUTELY ADORED IT SO HERE'S A LIL SOMETHING I HOPE YALL LIKE IT GIVE IT COMMENTS IF YOU WANT THEYRE INCREDIBLY APPRECIATED!!!! THIS STORY OBVIOUSLY HAS CAP MARVEL SPOILERS SO IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT, UNLESS YOU WANNA BE SPOILED, DONT READ IT! 
> 
> HOPE YOU LOVE IT!

There are a good amount of regrets.

 

Never to be the stolen identity she was for six years ever again, Carol has regrets pounding inside of her head. She hasn’t made the amends with her remaining brother, mother, and possibly her father she knew she’d do one day, somehow. Monica didn’t have her for a chunk of her life, her aunt who was a bigger piece of her life than Carol knew she probably realized. And no, she never quite sorted out her crush towards her best friend.

 

But now, she can do whatever the fuck she wants after finding a planet for the Skrulls, so she’s going to stand up straight and do what she can. 

 

Beverly, Massachusetts was always incredibly bland, for the most part. To do much, you needed to drive half-an-hour to an hour to get to Boston. Aside from big stuff, they were able to get their groceries in town and such. Even if they didn’t want to drive too far, there was a beach nearby and a waterpark northwest of them, so summer was definitely the best season for the Danvers children. But in contrast, winter tended to be pretty depressing aside from Christmas. Christmas was always alright, for the most part. She and her brothers would play with their new toys, or Carol would read the book she really wanted that her father gave into buying her. As a young girl, she was more curious than her brothers, wondering about space and flying in jets. Her father rolled his eyes that she wanted to pilot a jet one day, but she would never be able to, so what harm was there in letting her read about it?

 

Or so he thought she would never fly a jet. 

 

Her mom thought otherwise. Hell, they’d get into fights about it at night when they thought their children couldn’t hear, but they could. Carol remembers tearing up and Stevie would whisper that they should go back upstairs, the yelling scaring him, a physically abused brother of two who experience Joe Danver’s wrath. But by the time the sun rises, Marie would be there for her kids, despite deep emotional distaste to the man she married. 

 

Now, she’s back and alone in Massachusetts as a hidden figure from the world except who she’s going to see. She was thought to be dead, but who cared? Carol needed to try and she knew she had to. If it failed, so be it. 

 

Her old address is memorized now that she can remember what her address even was. The place has not changed, as expected. Within six years, there couldn’t be much development, and there wouldn’t be for such a miniscule, worthless place relative to the rest of the country. It’s cloudy outside and it’s quiet. No one is really around, not even driving in the cars that range from decades older to maybe a few years young. It’s the classical northeastern United States town with some American flags, two-child families, dogs, and simple green trees surrounding everything. 

 

There’s a car in her home’s driveway, her car recognized to be one of her brother’s, but she couldn’t remember which one. If someone was there, it was most likely going to be her father or maybe her mother, and Joe Jr. was probably off somewhere else in the country. He always had wanted to get as far as possible from Beverly, Massachusetts. Perhaps Florida, maybe San Francisco, or somewhere as random as Colorado. Her parents would always be here, though. She couldn’t see them going anywhere. 

 

Carol knocks on the door. She probably didn’t look like the daughter they would know, more weight shown in her eyes than before. Maybe her mom would recognize that it’s still her with her leather jacket-jeans style she had on and had for a long time before the Kree took her. 

 

“Just a minute,” His his gruff voice. There’s clopping of heavy boots for a moment as Carol sharpens her posture and expression before the door opens. He’s aged, obviously, as men do, but she hasn’t really aged (thanks to Kree blood). He’s blank-faced, appears to have no love or care. The man is basic in a tee shirt and jeans, dark-slowly-to-gray hair on his head and cruel brown eyes. “Carol?”

 

“Yeah,” She replies plainly. 

 

“You’re dead.”

 

“Never was.”

 

“Thought you were, that was bad enough.” The man sighs. “God, I can’t do this.”

 

Joe Danvers Sr. shuts the door and that is it. 

 

Carol knocks her fist on the door repeatedly. “Where’s Joey? ...Mom?”

 

There is no answer. 

 

Her father was headstrong and he was a huge asshole, so now Carol had this rock-bottom feeling of “why the hell am I here?” inside of her. The most she could do was try, right?

 

She’s at the bottom foot of the steps when she hears only one word and more footsteps fading:

 

“The cemetery.”

 

Her heart stops. 

 

A place like that only means bad things. 

 

Her brother Steve was at that cemetery, but that was incredibly old news. There was something else her father let out of him, and she was going to find out starting with walking through the field of gravestones. Trees hang overhead, but with no grace. It seems to be getting darker, but maybe it’s just Carol’s visual focus on every visible name that finally slams to a halt at one in particular that her eyes would not move from.

  
  


_ Marie Alexandra Danvers _

 

_ Daughter, Wife, Mother _

 

_ 1939-1993 _

  
  


Carol loved her mother, right? But why couldn’t she cry?

 

It was because the family given to her first wasn’t her real family.

 

Her real family resided in Louisiana in a simple farmhouse occupied by Maria and Monica Rambeau. 

  
  
  


Carol regrets not ever saying goodbye to her mom, even though she couldn’t, but she regret not being there for Monica more. 

  
  


Not having a father is a sad thing, but she had an amazing mom and a wonderful aunt, so Monica never was really upset about the lack of a dad. When she could, Carol helped the best of her ability to assist her best friend in taking care of the sweet young girl who she eventually nicknamed “Lieutenant Trouble” since she may have been precious, but was a hell of a mischievous girl that reminded Carol a bit of herself when she was her age. Never had Carol had experience with children besides her brothers (whom she tended to manage better than her own father, occasionally), so she was pretty much learning right at Maria’s side who was a first-time mom of a rambunctious young girl. Monica was so much light, though, in Carol’s life. Thank god she had better than Carol had when she was younger. No, it was not perfect, but she did not have abusive parents. She had quite the absolutely adoring mother and loving aunt the girl deserved more than anything. 

 

It was pretty hard seeing the once-toddler girl now be eleven years old. Carol wasn’t there for birthdays, Christmases, to be there for Monica when she was sad or when she had a question. At least Maria was, considering Maria was the young girl’s actual mother. But this girl was apart of Carol’s family and she missed her. 

 

So she sits with Monica on the porch like they used to at night with the noise of crickets and the too-familiar humidity that was gonna make their hair frizz, but neither of them cared. Stars were brightly lit in the swampy region of Louisiana that Maria and Monica called home. 

 

“I’m glad you came home, Auntie Carol.”

 

“Oh, I’m glad too, kiddo...And I’m sorry I didn’t come home sooner.” Carol’s eyes still face the swampy land, pained in maximum magnitude like they have been many times. 

 

“It’s okay, Auntie Carol! I never really thought you were gone.”

 

Carol sighs. “Yeah, well I was gone, Monica. I was...Vers, whatever dumb name that is. I wasn’t Carol Danvers for six years...I didn’t get to see you and your mom for a really long time.”

 

“But you’re here now!” Monica buts optimistically as if nothing much happened. “I get to see you right  _ now _ ! And that is special!”

 

Carol smiles as Goose comes up and rubs against her leg. Monica scoots over to pet the orange “cat”. The moon is coming out from the clouds and Monica is definitely right about her being her now. It still hurts, in the back of her head, but maybe she’ll eventually push it out of her head. She has her family, now. Why worry?

 

The last regret was about Maria. 

 

Maria was intelligent, badass, beautiful, head-strong, there was nothing really not to love about this woman. But it wasn’t really normal to like men and women, plus, Maria probably would never be into women or into her, so Carol did her best and kept these feelings to herself. Maria was her best friend, so she wouldn’t blatantly ruin that on a whim. But, God, she loved Maria with more heart than she had. So many moments-so many over years of being air force members, drinking-buddies, best friends, and Maria is the woman Carol remembers loving.

 

The issue is that she still loves her.

 

Carol is on the porch alone in the misty morning, eating cheerios on one of the rocking chairs facing Louisiana. Everyone’s asleep, as far as she knows. Even dear Goose is asleep somewhere inside, probably with Monica. The Earth is to herself in this moment. She’s not on overpopulated, stuffed-to-the-brink-of-death Hala anymore. No. Earth, her home, is smaller and she is grateful for what she has here. 

 

“You loved cheerios.”

 

Carol turns her head and smirks. “I still do.”

 

Maria plops down in the rocking chair beside her. “Beautiful morning, huh?”

 

Her head twists back to see the swampy land area. “Yeah...Missed it. I missed what I shared with you and Monica.”

 

Maria nods. “I missed what we shared, too. You were gone for so long...And you were actually up in  _ space _ fighting with  _ aliens _ ...I still can’t fathom it.”

 

“Well, you fought aliens, too.”

 

“You did it for six years...Six years we all thought you were dead.”

 

Carol sighs. “Apparently, my mom died.”

 

Maria’s eyes grow large and she leans forward in her chair. “Carol…”

 

“I don’t know how...I went back to Beverly and no one was there except my dad. I tried to talk to him as a last chance to make some good between us, but she shut the door on me and finally mentioned the local cemetery…” Carol’s voice quiets as her eyes look down. “She died two years ago-maybe of cancer or something,” She slowly shakes her head. “They weren’t my family, but I had to try.”

 

“No. They weren’t. Your family was never there for you and never supported you like you needed. We do, Carol. We are  _ always _ here for you.”

 

“We...I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Carol whispers. 

 

Maria leans back. “I didn’t know what I would do without you, either. You...You were everything.”

 

Carol’s expression softens and she turns her head back. “We weren’t a thing, were we?”

 

Maria shakes her head. “No.”

 

“Did you ever want us to be?” Carol blurts. Woops. She can’t take back what she said. 

 

Maria pauses for a few extra seconds. “Did you?”

 

Carol swallows. “I remember wanting it to be for a long time, but I didn’t want to screw up our friendship. I didn’t want to lose you, Maria.”

 

“You wouldn’t have lost me, I just would’ve been surprised,” Maria laughs. “You’re too hot to love an ugly ass like me.”

 

“Noooooo, I’m too much of an ugly ass to have a hottie like you to love me!” She argues back. 

 

“Well I disagree? Do we agree to disagree and think we’re both ugly asses thinking the other is a hottie?” Carol smirks.

 

Maria slowly shakes her head. “I wouldn’t have played around with you if you were an ugly ass.”

 

Carol blinks. “We did do that, didn’t we?” She remembers hands-on-hands and lips-on-lips. Some of it was drunk and she was sure that there may have been a little bit of friends-with-benefits, but her memory is not incredibly clear yet. 

 

Maria nods and crosses her legs. “Yes we did.”

 

Carol is staring. “Did I ever tell you that you had the most perfect lips?”

 

“Then get over here and kiss ‘em.”

 

Carol leans over and her soft lips are smashed on Maria’s plumper and even softer ones. She inhales her scent of vanilla and a hint of the gentle rose perfume she sometime wears. It lasts for a good bit of time, and its sweet and includes a feeling of just letting go that they both didn’t realize was truly there until now. 

 

“Do you want to do some more...playing around later?”

 

“Playing around?”

 

“You’re not as innocent as you’re acting.”

 

“Oh, no I am not!” Carol laughs. 

 

At that moment, a pajama-clad Monica comes running out chasing Goose who appeared to not want to be picked up. 

 

Carol smiles. “This is much better than Hala.”

 

“I would hope so. I’m here, you know.”

 

“Yes you are. Never to be found anywhere else.”

 

It is at that moment that Goose does his tentacle mouth thing and Monica yelps, running the other way through the decreasing mist of a sunny morning. 

 


End file.
